So, Nan had tried to instruct me as a commenter on an atheist blog, that I had only become a Christian because I had been taught these principles from an early age. I just accepted them, wanted to believe them, then, after all these years of believing them, I was too afraid of all my beliefs crashing down to question them.

“I was just like you, Randy. I did all the church things , believed all the teachings, I even got born again. But, when I started to question things, I realized that it was all a lie.”

I can’t blame Nan.

After pouring through my journey of being unable to see the kingdom of God in its power, not recognizing all the entrances of God into my life because of my blindness, completely deaf to any words He might deliver to me, I have come to realize that I was dead.

I had a physical life.

I was concerned about physical things, things that made my physical life better.

If I was nice to people, it was because I liked the way it felt for people to think well of me.

If I was in desperate straits financially, I found ways to get extra money by less than legal means.

I lost jobs because of these choices.

One time, after losing two jobs, I had a job I really loved, but I did its again. Desperate times.

I thought I had been discovered and that, when I got back to the Pepsi warehouse, that I would be fired again.

Fear gripped my heart.

“Oh, LORD, please please please don’t let me be fired. I will give you my life if you protect me,” I prayed.

Of course, according to Nan, the only reason I prayed was because some man had told me when I was young, that God hears and answers our prayers.

But, I didn’t know Nan back then.

I did not get fired.

I forgot about the prayer.

But, God did not forget that prayer.

Around that time, my daughter, Chelsey was two or three. One morning, Wendy and I were standing at the door to her bedroom as she was waking up.

“I dreamed about God,” she said.

How cute is that? we thought. “What did he look like?”

“He had white hair and a white beard and a white robe.”

Wendy and I looked at each other. “Did he say anything?” Wendy asked.

Chelsey answered, “Yes. He said, (and she lowered her voice as deep as she could)’I love you, Chelsey.’”

Some time after that, we decided to get back into church.

But I was still untouched. I just thought it was neat that little Chelsey had had that dream.

The first time I was ever touched was when Wendy said, “ God doesn’t want us to have this house.”

The first time I was ever moved by a scripture was two days later, when I read, “You must be born again.” I could not see the kingdom of God.

Until, the next day, when I was born again.

Nan was right. She and I were at the same place, doing the things, but not being touched by the One who ordained the Words that we were being taught.

We were both blind and deaf to the world of the Spirit of God.

We were both dead.

God sent people to tell us, circumstances to guide us.

He touched me so I could hear.

He softened my heart so I could know what I needed to pray.

He answered my prayer.

I am not dead anymore.

Nan was wrong about something.

The things I was taught when I was dead were true.

I just didn’t really believe them.

I was a virtual atheist; I lived as if there were no God.

God says, “I AM THAT I AM.”

My prayer, is that God will open Nan’s eyes (and the others like her)

so she can become alive.

“He that has the Son has life. He that does not have the Son Of God does not have life.”


24 thoughts on “WAS NAN RIGHT? ( PART 3: EPILOGUE

  1. You literally said Nan was wrong, and then just explained how Nan was absolutely right. You were afraid that anything that did not work well in your life was a result of your less-than-full committment to the religion. You literally just explained that to us. Nan was right.


      • Okay, sure. You were scared and went running back to religion. She was right. And you have no idea if you are right or wrong because you are too scared to HONESTLY consider the alternative.

        This is why you always get the wrong answer.


      • You literally said they were not going well. You literally said you were broke, broke the law, and got fired. Thats a dark place, but it is also going horribly.

        You were broke, broke the law, and lost your job for your own actions. Yours and yours alone.

        Now, people are motivated by a lot of things. I am well off, successful, and do not break the law because I’m highly motivated not to go to jail and be branded as such a person. My own pride keeps me motivated.

        You seem to find motivation in your imaginary friend. Great. But just because you were too scared to trust yourself doesn’t mean your conclusions are real. Quite the opposite.


      • SA, I’m glad your life is full where you are.
        Mine is better for me now than it was then.
        Still hard at times, but the strength I lean on is much stronger than my own.


      • No, the strength you lean on is obviously yourself, Randy! You are an amazing person all by yourself! Think about it. You thought it was a magic guy, but that magic guy is fake. That means…. It was all you!

        How do I know? Because it doesn’t just happen to people in your denomination of Christianity. All Christians get that “boost”. But also, Mormons. And Scientologists. And Hindus. And Pagans. And Voodoo! And atheists.

        What makes us great is us. Dont suppress that, celebrate it! People are amazing!


      • LMAO! We are made in GODS image? Really? God is this screwed up?????

        Does god have a blind spot in his eye? Is gods feeding and breathing tube the same, and does he have to be concerned about choking? Does god have an appendix? Or did he have to have emergency surgery to remove it? Does he have tonsils? Does he have back problems related to terrible back suspension? Has he ever had back surgery? Has his arches fallen? Does he get neck pain from a poor neck/head arrangement?

        What is god’s blood type?


      • Binary? Your statement, my friend. You are the one limiting all things to a single option. You said we were made in his image. You claim your god is real. If that is true, then all the questions I asked are valid. If it is not true, then we have lots of options to discuss.

        You can not proclaim there is only one right answer and then ignore the logical results of that proclamation.


      • I am not one of the Christians you spoke of that doesn’t read the Bible. I didn’t. Then in 1978, I was born again, and the words were like food for this new life.
        We are made in the image of God.
        You must be born again.
        You belong to the enemy of God.
        You speak his words.
        You voice his thoughts.
        You read God’s book so you can say, “Did God really say?….You won’t surely die….”

        I read His book so He can speak to the LIFE He planted in me.

        Flesh gives birth to flesh
        But the Spirit gives birth to spirit. (John 3)


      • Born again? Do you realize just how dumb that is, Randy? Birth is a specific thing. You can’t have it happen to you twice.

        It might sound POETIC to say you were born again, in the sense that you feel like you have a new view on life now, or something, but you physically and really were not born again. You thought of something in a new way.

        Which goes back to the “made in the image of” comment. Saying things poetically sounds nice and all, but is useless in really figuring things out. Poetic language only muddles our understanding.

        And that is all you did now 10 or 11 times in just this most recent comment of yours. Make the language more vague, because “the devil is in the details” so to speak. Your religion qnd your religious mantras can’t survive a mature, honest evaluation.


      • I know so little about you. You know my name, I am 70 years old, and I have known and loved Jesus now for almost 44 years.
        You are a lot more like me than you would like to believe.
        Scriptures and biblical talk had no effect on me. At all. I said I believed in God, but, then, I was just like you said. Ignorant of what the Bible actually said.
        When I heard “born again”? Same response as you.
        Except it troubled me.
        And, that stirring inside was “a calling” to the Family of God.

        That is when I began to remember all the calls that I had not “heard”.

        My prayer is that one day, you will hear the same call, and maybe remember that crazy old man you argued with,
        And know that Jesus did indeed send me your way.


      • Randy, I’m really happy you got off drugs or whatever because you decided to throw your belief in on this Jesus cult.

        Nan was right. You have blinders on, and you refuse to look at what is all around you. Hey, whatever. It worked for you. But lets not sit here and stroke each other. You are wrong. Demonstrably, factually, logically, indisputably wrong. I have demonstrated as much dozens of times. And since I tire of your evasive nonsense, this shall be my last comment on this post.

        Go ahead and have the last “word” of nonsense to feel better about your irrational belief. Good day.


      • I have enjoyed our talk. You do make me think.
        If God can use an atheist who doesn’t believe in Him, and who hates Him to lead me into a deeper love for Him, then, to me, it is not such a stretch to believe that He could speak through a donkey.


  2. You don’t know the difference between being trapped and being free.
    I know what it is like to live without awareness of God.
    I also know what it is like to be a friend of God.
    You don’t know that side.
    I pray you will one day.


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