When I learned that I couldn’t earn my way into God’s family, I sort of rebelled, thinking, ” Hey, I’m a pretty good guy, compared to him and her and him and him….”

I held onto that for quite some time.

I maintained the fantasy that God would love me just because I was a pretty dad gum good guy.

I couldn’t even tell that my heart was getting hard.

After all, I believed in God, (…you do well. The demons believe, and tremble. James 2:19)
but, I made all my own choices, keeping His teaching far, far from me.

My desire was for me, for what I wanted, my way.

Until that day, when my hard heart was shattered, I saw who I was, what I had become.

And I trembled as I prayed, “I am yours.”

That’s when the job description changed.

That day, I heard his voice and I did not harden my heart. (Hebrews3: 7, 8a)

The blessings came as my eyes and ears opened to that Voice that kept on speaking through the years.

Instructions on “working my land” (making my life a living sacrifice) started singing to my heart, and I found myself wanting to please the One who had quickened my heart to a new way of thinking, of living.

But, oh, the riches that followed, the Joy that ensued,
The pleasure of pleasing the One who loves me,
What more could I need?

“Blessed is the one who always trembles before God, but whoever hardens their heart falls into trouble.

Those who work their land will have abundant food, but those who chase fantasies will have their fill of poverty.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭28:14, 19‬ ‭NIV‬‬

I only wonder why it took me so many years.

I prayed. Sort of.

I found that answer today, as well.

“If anyone turns a deaf ear to my instruction, even their prayers are detestable.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭28:9‬ ‭NIV