Wendy found this picture from mid April, 1996.

Jenny, Chelsey’s cousin, said she remembers this day, that she might be the one who took the picture.

Chelsey had become Zoë’s mom two weeks earlier, a midwife assisted delivery in her house.

We were sitting in her living room.

My parents are sitting to Chelsey ‘s right.

This was their first time to see their first great granddaughter.

They had driven the two hours from Garland in Dad’s ‘91 Ford pickup.

He gave it to me a couple of years later.

Wendy’s parents sit to Chelsey’s left. They had walked over, since they lived on the same 40 acres.

Jenny (behind the camera) lived right across the creek with her parents, her sister and brother in a house we had built in the early 80’s.

Wendy and I are sitting behind the couch. We had had a financial crisis a few years earlier, probably, partly because of the huge interest rates of that time, and had to leave the house that we had built.

Craig and Belinda had bought it back from the bank to keep it from being sold to strangers.

They are still there.

We still get together for holidays, usually at the house that Wendy and I built.

The family has grown.

But three in the picture have learned first hand about the life that follows,

A life with the Lord whom all three had come to love.

Absent from the body, present with the Lord.

The birth seemed to be proceeding well on March 29, 1996. But, in the early evening, the midwife , after listening through her stethoscope, told us the baby was in distress.

Wendy and I left the room …to pray…hard.

Into God’s hands, under His care, we placed our coming granddaughter.

Her name was already chosen.

Zoë.

Everlasting life.

We were in the room when the birth took place.

Zoë entered the light, turned her head to take in the room, uttered a brief ”Meh”, and refused to cry.

All fingers, all toes, breath; a 10 on the scale. Everything was fine.

Except, this little baby girl, who took charge of the room when she entered, had this little nick in her left ear, not bleeding, not open, just a unique little mark of distinction.

Later, we told Zoë that the devil and the angels fought at her birth, and that was the mark of the battle.

She was always a little bit proud of her “battle scar”.

You know how memories are…brief snapshots where you have to fill in the details. I can’t remember a lot about that day, but I do remember that over the next six and a half years, we were daily involved in some way with Chelsey and Zoë, and their lives.

Zoë would stay with us while Chelsey worked, Chelsey and Zoë would spend the day with Wendy in Tyler or Longview, sometimes they would sleep over with us at our house at Lake Hawkins.

We were close…really close.

On January 11, 2001, my mom’s 72nd birthday, my mom went to heaven to celebrate.

On October 8, 2002, on our way to the State Fair of Texas with Chelsey and Zoë, we were hit by a flatbed truck, and Chelsey left this temporal world for her eternal home.

Zoë became our daughter/granddaughter.

On March 1 of 2011, my dad stepped out of his memory erased human body, stepped through the curtain to rejoin his wife and his first grandchild.

Looking at a picture, you can glance and smile, or you can remember, reflect, maybe shed a brief tear, but rejoice in all the other moments and memories that you haven’t thought of in a long, long time.

God is love.

God is good.

It is He that has made us, and we are His.

May 26, 2018

HIGH ENERGY

After working 49 hard physical hours in four days this week , I think I was feeling kinda proud that I, a 66 year old man, still had the chops to put in that many hours in such a short time.

Without quitting.

Pushing through til I was done.

At one job, there were about twenty guys working to finish a house remodel before the weekend.

The oldest was maybe 55.

I was going up and down my ladder, cleaning about 50 windows, every one, all by myself.

So proud.

And that was just the first of three for that day.

I had already done this three previous days.

Leaving the house at 7:00 or 7:30, getting home 11 to 13 hours later.

“I’ve still got it”, I was thinking…

I have this voice in my head:

(Randy, some people I give the ability to be wise in financial management,

some I give the ability to work for a company and retire.

You I gave a good metabolism and a good work ethic and a good amount of endurance.

Because, I Love You

And you’ll probably need it.)

God takes care of His children…

Especially the idiots…

Like me.

May 26,2018

“AND THE WORLD WILL LIVE AS ONE…”

In the Bible, there is a story about a time when all the people had a common language, a common speech.

They all got along.

They could do anything they wanted, because they could all understand each other, work together and make a great name for themselves, so they could continue to live together in perfect harmony.

One problem, though.

There were some people, probably a small group, who kept telling them to honor their Creator, to follow His ways.

It made them kinda mad.

“We don’t need some God telling us what to do, taking away our fun, putting all these chains on us…. We will build our own tower to heaven, become powerful, well-known, show this god that we are just fine without him. And you guys, you can just leave and go do your thing, and bow down to your god.

We just don’t need you telling us what to do.”

God wasn’t pleased.

He made language differences, where, suddenly, this “oneness” of the people changed because they could no longer understand each other.

Their hearts already had the desire to do what they thought best.

Now, they thought it best to get away from these people that they couldn’t understand,

And build their own place,

Do their own thing,

“Because, we don’t want anyone telling us what we can and can’t do.”

WHEN THE TRUTH DOESN’T REALLY MATTER

I am sorry to say that I am getting pretty discouraged about the state of reason in the world today.

Climate change is the most dangerous thing in the world that we are facing. Twelve years until disaster. Ice caps melting, flooding our coastlines, millions of people will die if we DON’T DO SOMETHING NOW!!!

(Yawn)

And guns. Why don’t we have more controls over the number of guns in this country? If we can save even one life, then it will be worth giving up our guns.

(Is there another channel?)

We have to give super status to the LBGTQ community, because, ummm, well, because we care about people. And love. We care about love, too.

(Really?)

And women’s rights to healthcare. What gives you the right to tell me what I can do with MY BODY?

The government needs to pay for my right to protect my body. If I choose abortion, you should cheer, because of my bravery. You should pay for my abortion! Repeal the Hyde amendment! Hear me roar!

(Eyes wide shut!)

Who will speak up for the little ones?

I know, we can’t include God in the conversation because, well, separation of church and state.

But, don’t start telling me how science proves climate change is nearing catastrophic levels, and then tell me that gender is a choice (science found chromosomal differences), abortion just removes an unwanted clump of cells (science found DNA that shows humanity from conception), removal of guns would save lives (many more lives were saved when there was a gun present in the hands of a person without evil intent to thwart the evil one), and on and on and on.

When the stories tend to ignore the science, when it is inconvenient to the narrative, it is difficult to listen to the science when it is convenient to the narrative.

I keep wondering, “What are they leaving out?”

“If I say, ‘Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,’ even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.

For you formed my inmost parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Psalm 139:11-14

MAY 20, 2015

THOUGHTS ON LOGS AND SPLINTERS

Everyone tells me I am not supposed to notice other people’s sins, because I have to get rid of my own first. (Jesus’ teaching on removing the beam from your own eye so you can see clearly to remove the splinter from your friend’s eye.)

I wonder….

Maybe Jesus was speaking on a much deeper level.

Perhaps the “splinters” are the things we do, or neglect to do, that show us that we cannot possibly be good enough to ever deserve God’s favor.

Maybe the “log” or “beam” is the idea that I can be good enough on my own to earn God’s favor.

Maybe, the only way to remove the log from your own eye, is to realize that there is no way for you to remove the log from your own eye.

An unyielded life sees only the actions and shortcomings of those around him.

A yielded life “sees” the image of God in those around him, and desires that the log be removed from their eyes as well.

May 19, 2018

One Year Ago

Journal • Saturday, May 19, 2018, 10:39 PM CDT • 189 E Blackbourn St, Hawkins, TX

COME HELL OR HIGH WATER

It’s just an expression to emphasize the fact that I am going to do something, no matter what happens.

To be honest, though, I can’t really say that, can I?

High water alone can stop me.

What happens if I find myself standing before the Almighty God, being asked why I wanted to come into His town.

I may be a blubbering idiot, if I haven’t looked forward to this moment for a long time.

If I am standing there, surprised that there really is a God, then I may suddenly understand why those Christians used to always say that “the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.”

I am very afraid!

I am starting to wish I had gotten some of this wisdom back when I had a chance.

I thought I had figured it all out.

I had said over and over, “How can a God say he loves me but threaten to send me to hell if I don’t love him back?”
Who brainwashed these people?

Of course, there was that one guy who tried to tell me, “He doesn’t send you to hell.
If you suddenly died, and, surprisingly found yourself in a place that you didn’t expect to be, because you had said, “there is no God,” and you were standing right in front of him, would you want to spend eternity with him or away from him?”
I answered, “Away!” And I said a lot of other stuff for emphasis.

He went on, “Then YOU chose!
He let you have what you said you wanted. He had offered you a free ticket, over and over and over…. You said that you weren’t interested.”

This guy had been so aggravating.

Now I am really, really afraid that I may have been wrong!

(To see the conversation that inspired this, go to https://randyepps.blog/2019/05/14/i-may-have-been-hasty-in-judgment-2/amp/ and scroll down past the story to the comments.)

May 16, 2018

Wendy sent me this in a text at 11:30 this morning.

“Maybe you can bring this home for dinner tonight,” she added. “Gladewater or Mineola?”

“I think Tyler is the closest one. Way far from me.”

I worked until 5:30, googled Jack in the Box and remembered the one in Gilmer.

It would only add about 20 minutes to my trip home.

“Just look at the ad and text me what you want.”

She texted, “Cholula Buttery Jack and Cholula Fries.”

Sounded good to me. Make that two.

Got home, put food on the plates, gulped it all down, and I asked her what she thought.

” I think I really like my cooking!”

Me, too.

“At least you got one free…”

Ooops.

“You got one free, didn’t you?”

Uuhhmmm?

“Are you kidding me, Randy. That was the whole reason I suggested it in the first place. Is you’re brain just not working anymore? You think I was just dying for Jack in the Box hamburgers?”

I thought Cholula Buttery Jack sounded pretty good.

But, my brain got distracted when I had to teach the jack in the box guy how to work the pump pot for the coffee I ordered to drink on the way home.

I think it’s clear, now. One thought at a time. One at a time.

May 14, 2018

Last week, I made a statement about what hearing old rock music from my teen years did to me.

I heard another one today. I always thought it was really, really shallow. But, thinking about it, I may have decided it was genius.

“ADAM! WHY ARE YOU HIDING?”

Eve gripped his arm and hand in fear.
“Stay down,” said Adam, “We can’t let Him see us like this.”

“I said, why are you hiding?”

“ I was afraid, because I was naked.”

“Who told you you were naked?”

They both were hanging their heads, not looking up, focused intently on the dirt in front of them.

“Did you eat from the tree I told you not to eat from?”

“Well…the woman you gave me…”

Eve jerked her hand away. Adam could see her glaring at him out of the corner of his eye.

She kept glaring at Adam. “It was the serpent…”

—

“Eve, where are you? Wait!”

Adam was running after her, leaving the garden.

“How could you do that? You threw me under the bus!” she called back, over her shoulder.

“What? What are you saying? I don’t understand! What is a bus?”

“I don’t know. It’s just an expression! Just leave me alone.”

Adam watched her walk into a cave.

He walked, alone into the woods.

—

“Eve…Eve…are you in here?”
Adam was sobbing.

“I’m here. What?”

“ Back there…in the …in uh gadda…when we were…in uh gaddavida…”

“Adam! Pull yourself together. I can’t understand a word your saying! Take a breath and talk to me…like a man!”

Adam sat down…took a deep breath…and another…”Eve, you are bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh…you are mine…I am yours…”

“And, I wrote you a song.”

“What?”

“I wrote you a song. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking.”

“Okay. Sing my song. What’s that?”

“A zither. I made it to play music…for your song.”

And he started to sing…

“In the garden of eden, honey
Don’t you know that I’m lovin’ you
In the garden of eden, baby
Don’t you know that I’ll always be true

Oh, won’t you come with me
And take my hand
Oh, won’t you come with me
And walk this land
Please take my hand”

Then Adam put down his zither, picked up two limbs from the ground, and started beating out a rhythm…on trees, on rocks, on stumps…for a long time…a long, long time…

Then he picked up his zither, and sang the two verses again…
For emphasis.

He looked at Eve, smiling kinda sheepishly.

“What was that?” She asked.

“Your song!”

“No, the part in the middle.”

“Oh, that was the best part, the drum solo…” He saw her begin to frown… “I don’t mean the best part…the best part was the “lovin’ you” part…then the drum solo.”

She smiled, took his hand, looked into his eyes, and said, “I like it. Could I change one thing?”

Adam handed her the skin with the song on it.

She made the changes, handed it back.

“In a gadda da vida? No one will know what that means?”

“It’s my song. You wrote it for me. I’ll know. They’ll just have to figure it out.”

“I love you, Eve. You look real pretty in that leather dress.”

“Thank you, Adam. It’s a Designer original.”

May 13, 2017

Family mother’s day lunch starts the same as most family dinners.
We find a spot in the kitchen for all the stuff we’ve prepared, make a circle in the den, and the designated prayer (Randy) prays. Thanks for family…food…good relationship…blessings on our lives…in Jesus ‘ name, Amen.

Everyone moves toward the kitchen.

Designated prayer says, “Wait! It’s mother’s day! I forgot to mention mother’s day! Everyone come back.”

No one comes back.

Dishes filled, places found, good food.

Then the stories begin.

The Drowning. (Harper)

The three year old comes into the room.
“When it’s hot, we’re going to the beach. Then I won’t be scared because of the water and sand. It’s not a swimming pool. When I was a baby, I “drowned” when someone pushed me under the water in the swimming pool.”

Someone at the table says, “I
” drowned” too, when I was little….”
Not her story. She walked off.

Haircut. (Craig)

“I stopped to get a haircut the other day.
The girl starts asking questions. ‘So, what brings you here in the middle of the work day?’
‘I just want a haircut.’
‘Must be sump’n going on.’
‘I just want a haircut.'”
Someone at the table says, “She may have really needed someone to talk to.”
“Not to me. I just wanted a haircut. I paid her for a haircut.”

The Tomb of the Unknown Soldier (Jayci)

The fourteen year old went to D.C. with her family. She told us how the guard at the Tomb of the unknown soldier would march back and forth, with the exact number of steps each time.
There were some people there, talking, being disrespectful.
You’re not supposed to talk at the tomb.
The soldier stopped his march, turned toward the people, and, with carefully scripted words, rebuked the disrespectful talkers.
“That was my favorite part of everything we saw!” said the fourteen year old.

The Troubled Actor (Adam)

An award was given to our family cop for saving a life.
It seems, an actor, having trouble coping with life, had fallen into drugs, moved in with his mom, was feeling paranoid, and was threatening to jump from the fourth floor balcony of the apartment.
“We were trying to talk him down, but weren’t having much luck. The officer downstairs hollered and got his attention, distracted him, just long enough for us to grab him.”
Life saved, for now.

Mean Patient in Doctor’s Office (Zoë)

The new receptionist got broken in fast with customer relations. He came in angry, cursing her, the other receptionists, the nurses.
“He threw some papers at me, used the F-word a couple of times, said he wanted to talk to a nurse, but ‘not that SOB. He’s a liar.’ Except, he didn’t use the abbreviation. I was polite and offered to go back and see if there was someone to help him. But I was shaking so much. The others said he is always like that.”

Dead Bunnies (Kristin)

It started when she found a dead baby bunny in the yard. Then, she found one in the house. The two dogs pretended they had no idea how that got there.
No more freedom in the back yard. From now on, leash only.
Then she decided to use the shock collar, and just watch.
“I looked out the window, and he had a bunny in his mouth. I pushed the button, the bunny dropped, the dog retreated, and I ran out. The bunny was still alive, so, I found the nest, put it back in, put up a barrier to keep out the dogs. I guess it worked. They are gone now. I do not like dead bunnies in my house.”

The Confrontation (Jenny)

It was the end of a Parks and Rec fourth grade basketball game.
“We had lost, 35-4. Our girls tried hard, but they were all new. The other team was like professionals. So, I was talking to my team right after the game.
‘Coach. COACH! You need to line up your team so we can shake hands and go!’
‘Are you, a fourth grader, trying to tell me, an adult, what to do with my team?'”
As the mother/coach came out of the stands, the confrontation began.
The storyteller’s eyes were bright, and distant, as the scene replayed itself in her mind…
“Oh, you are one of those…Wait, are you recording this? Why are you recording this?”
Misunderstandings abound. We, too, were seeing the stories with each line.
” ‘Take it outside? What are we going to do? Fight?’ She was a head taller, and strong. I don’t know if I was more angry, or scared. But I knew, if we went outside, I was dead.”
We couldn’t stop listening. The color, the descriptions…
“I was so excited, I probably looked like a crazy peacock, jumping up and down, flapping its wings.” (We got a demonstration.)
“After shaking hands, she accused me of “a racist handshake. ‘Racist handshake? What is a racist handshake? That’s not a thing. Is it? Is that a thing?”
We were all laughing, living the story with her.
Her fourteen year old stepped in defense of her mother.
“Are you going to hit me? Go ahead, hit me!”
“Are you going to hit a fourteen year old?”
We were all leaning forward in anticipation.
The story continued…
“Jesus? Are we talking about Jesus, now? Let’s talk about Jesus! I LOVE JESUS!”
No confrontation is complete unless the police come.
The police came.
She told her story first, then the confrontater told hers, showed her video, and left quietly.
“You’re free to go, Ma’am.”
“Did she really show you the video?”
“Yes, Ma’am, she did.” He smiled sheepishly. “You are free to go.”

The Bullies (Jayci)

Imbedded into the life of the fourteen year old was a story of middle school mean girls, cyber bullying, betrayal, and intimidation. She had not wanted to tell why she wasn’t playing soccer next year, and left the room. She came back a little later, and she told her story. But, where it took a turn, and rose above the typical was when she took out her phone, scrolled through some messages and read us her response. She told her of her faith in Jesus, she offered her friendship, and forgiveness to her tormentor.
The angels were singing.

The old storyteller, 90 in less than two months, was sitting off to the side with his cane, a slight smile on his face, an occasional comment coming from his mouth.
He had been planting seeds of storytelling into these minds for all their lives.
He had learned the perfect balance of when to speak and when to listen.
Today.
Today, he didn’t tell any stories.
Not today.
Today he enjoyed the fruit of his harvest.