Wendy found this picture from mid April, 1996.

Jenny, Chelsey’s cousin, said she remembers this day, that she might be the one who took the picture.

Chelsey had become Zoë’s mom two weeks earlier, a midwife assisted delivery in her house.

We were sitting in her living room.

My parents are sitting to Chelsey ‘s right.

This was their first time to see their first great granddaughter.

They had driven the two hours from Garland in Dad’s ‘91 Ford pickup.

He gave it to me a couple of years later.

Wendy’s parents sit to Chelsey’s left. They had walked over, since they lived on the same 40 acres.

Jenny (behind the camera) lived right across the creek with her parents, her sister and brother in a house we had built in the early 80’s.

Wendy and I are sitting behind the couch. We had had a financial crisis a few years earlier, probably, partly because of the huge interest rates of that time, and had to leave the house that we had built.

Craig and Belinda had bought it back from the bank to keep it from being sold to strangers.

They are still there.

We still get together for holidays, usually at the house that Wendy and I built.

The family has grown.

But three in the picture have learned first hand about the life that follows,

A life with the Lord whom all three had come to love.

Absent from the body, present with the Lord.

The birth seemed to be proceeding well on March 29, 1996. But, in the early evening, the midwife , after listening through her stethoscope, told us the baby was in distress.

Wendy and I left the room …to pray…hard.

Into God’s hands, under His care, we placed our coming granddaughter.

Her name was already chosen.


Everlasting life.

We were in the room when the birth took place.

Zoë entered the light, turned her head to take in the room, uttered a brief ”Meh”, and refused to cry.

All fingers, all toes, breath; a 10 on the scale. Everything was fine.

Except, this little baby girl, who took charge of the room when she entered, had this little nick in her left ear, not bleeding, not open, just a unique little mark of distinction.

Later, we told Zoë that the devil and the angels fought at her birth, and that was the mark of the battle.

She was always a little bit proud of her “battle scar”.

You know how memories are…brief snapshots where you have to fill in the details. I can’t remember a lot about that day, but I do remember that over the next six and a half years, we were daily involved in some way with Chelsey and Zoë, and their lives.

Zoë would stay with us while Chelsey worked, Chelsey and Zoë would spend the day with Wendy in Tyler or Longview, sometimes they would sleep over with us at our house at Lake Hawkins.

We were close…really close.

On January 11, 2001, my mom’s 72nd birthday, my mom went to heaven to celebrate.

On October 8, 2002, on our way to the State Fair of Texas with Chelsey and Zoë, we were hit by a flatbed truck, and Chelsey left this temporal world for her eternal home.

Zoë became our daughter/granddaughter.

On March 1 of 2011, my dad stepped out of his memory erased human body, stepped through the curtain to rejoin his wife and his first grandchild.

Looking at a picture, you can glance and smile, or you can remember, reflect, maybe shed a brief tear, but rejoice in all the other moments and memories that you haven’t thought of in a long, long time.

God is love.

God is good.

It is He that has made us, and we are His.



May 26, 2018


After working 49 hard physical hours in four days this week , I think I was feeling kinda proud that I, a 66 year old man, still had the chops to put in that many hours in such a short time.

Without quitting.

Pushing through til I was done.

At one job, there were about twenty guys working to finish a house remodel before the weekend.

The oldest was maybe 55.

I was going up and down my ladder, cleaning about 50 windows, every one, all by myself.

So proud.

And that was just the first of three for that day.

I had already done this three previous days.

Leaving the house at 7:00 or 7:30, getting home 11 to 13 hours later.

“I’ve still got it”, I was thinking…

I have this voice in my head:

(Randy, some people I give the ability to be wise in financial management,

some I give the ability to work for a company and retire.

You I gave a good metabolism and a good work ethic and a good amount of endurance.

Because, I Love You

And you’ll probably need it.)

God takes care of His children…

Especially the idiots…

Like me.



May 26,2018


In the Bible, there is a story about a time when all the people had a common language, a common speech.

They all got along.

They could do anything they wanted, because they could all understand each other, work together and make a great name for themselves, so they could continue to live together in perfect harmony.

One problem, though.

There were some people, probably a small group, who kept telling them to honor their Creator, to follow His ways.

It made them kinda mad.

“We don’t need some God telling us what to do, taking away our fun, putting all these chains on us…. We will build our own tower to heaven, become powerful, well-known, show this god that we are just fine without him. And you guys, you can just leave and go do your thing, and bow down to your god.

We just don’t need you telling us what to do.”

God wasn’t pleased.

He made language differences, where, suddenly, this “oneness” of the people changed because they could no longer understand each other.

Their hearts already had the desire to do what they thought best.

Now, they thought it best to get away from these people that they couldn’t understand,

And build their own place,

Do their own thing,

“Because, we don’t want anyone telling us what we can and can’t do.”




I am sorry to say that I am getting pretty discouraged about the state of reason in the world today.

Climate change is the most dangerous thing in the world that we are facing. Twelve years until disaster. Ice caps melting, flooding our coastlines, millions of people will die if we DON’T DO SOMETHING NOW!!!


And guns. Why don’t we have more controls over the number of guns in this country? If we can save even one life, then it will be worth giving up our guns.

(Is there another channel?)

We have to give super status to the LBGTQ community, because, ummm, well, because we care about people. And love. We care about love, too.


And women’s rights to healthcare. What gives you the right to tell me what I can do with MY BODY?

The government needs to pay for my right to protect my body. If I choose abortion, you should cheer, because of my bravery. You should pay for my abortion! Repeal the Hyde amendment! Hear me roar!

(Eyes wide shut!)

Who will speak up for the little ones?

I know, we can’t include God in the conversation because, well, separation of church and state.

But, don’t start telling me how science proves climate change is nearing catastrophic levels, and then tell me that gender is a choice (science found chromosomal differences), abortion just removes an unwanted clump of cells (science found DNA that shows humanity from conception), removal of guns would save lives (many more lives were saved when there was a gun present in the hands of a person without evil intent to thwart the evil one), and on and on and on.

When the stories tend to ignore the science, when it is inconvenient to the narrative, it is difficult to listen to the science when it is convenient to the narrative.

I keep wondering, “What are they leaving out?”

“If I say, ‘Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,’ even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you.

For you formed my inmost parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb. I praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Psalm 139:11-14



MAY 20, 2015


Everyone tells me I am not supposed to notice other people’s sins, because I have to get rid of my own first. (Jesus’ teaching on removing the beam from your own eye so you can see clearly to remove the splinter from your friend’s eye.)

I wonder….

Maybe Jesus was speaking on a much deeper level.

Perhaps the “splinters” are the things we do, or neglect to do, that show us that we cannot possibly be good enough to ever deserve God’s favor.

Maybe the “log” or “beam” is the idea that I can be good enough on my own to earn God’s favor.

Maybe, the only way to remove the log from your own eye, is to realize that there is no way for you to remove the log from your own eye.

An unyielded life sees only the actions and shortcomings of those around him.

A yielded life “sees” the image of God in those around him, and desires that the log be removed from their eyes as well.



May 19, 2018

One Year Ago


Step 1: Preparation
Do hard physical labor for 11 days straight, sleeping only six and a half hours a night.
On the 12th day (your day off) get up really really early and work for five hours.
Start your day off at noon, to spend a nice day with your wife.
Yawn all day long, complaining about how tired you are.
Get home around 9:00, start unloading the stuff from the car, and please, please don’t start crying because you are so tired.
Man up!
Start watching a movie with your loved one, and never ever admit that you dozed off a couple of times. If you don’t understand something, don’t ever say “Why did they say that?” because, that would imply that you may have gone to sleep.
Go to bed for real at 11:30.

Step 2: Getting supplies together.
Get out of bed at 10:30. (That’s right, 11 official hours of rest. Who does this? Well, maybe millennials….)
Drink a large cup of coffee, with some of your wife’s new natural coffee stuff that gives brain acuity and energy.
Wow! This stuff is great! I actually want to do something!
Eat a good breakfast.
Go to Walmart to get 4 eighty pounds bags of quikrete. (“While you’re there, would you go ahead and get 10 bags of brown bark?”)
And ten bags of brown bark.
Man, I have got so much energy. That coffee stuff is great!
Load bags of bark at Walmart, then thank the young man who comes to help you right as you load the last bag.
Drive to Ace Hardware to get concrete, because Walmart didn’t have it.
Check the difference in price between 40 pound bags and 80 pound bags.
No price on pallets.
Try to pick up 80 pound bag.
Go inside and pay for eight 40 pound bags.
Go outside to load.
Thank the man that helped you with the last two bags.
Drive home.

Step 3: Doing the deed
Put gravel, shovel, hoe, posthole diggers, and concrete mixing tub in wheelbarrow.
After you turn the wheelbarrow over, shovel the spilled gravel back into the wheelbarrow.
Dig a hole with the posthole diggers, 28 inches deep by 18 inches wide.
When you discover that the sand is too dry, and too fine to be pulled out of the hole with the p.h. diggers, run water into the hole to make mud.
Finish digging the hole.
(Yes, it’s okay if it is 15 inches wide at the bottom and 24 inches wide at the top)
Pour the gravel into the hole about 6 inches from the bottom.
Stick plastic pipe into the gravel, making sure it sticks above the ground about one inch.
BE SURE TO PUT THE PLASTIC CAP INTO THE OPEN END OF THE PIPE. (You do NOT want concrete in your pipe.)
Go get some more water. As you walk by your wife in her rocking chair on the porch in the shade, smile when you hear her say, “Oh, you’re already done with the hole? That wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be.”
You don’t have to respond. Just smile.
But, man, I can’t believe how much energy I still have! That coffee stuff is really great.
Pour 2 forty pound bags of concrete into mixing tub, “making a well to hold 7 pints of water. Slump should be 3 to 4 inches.” I don’t know…don’t ask.
Mix water and concrete together.
Listen to your wife if she says there is an easier way.
Smile. Really, you don’t have to say anything.
Shovel the concrete into the hole.
Realize that you have to do this three more times.
Do it three more times.
Now, when you realize that the two levels you brought out aren’t going to work, go get another level.
Carefully, put the flagpole into the tube.
Take the plastic cap out before you try to carefully put the flagpole into the tube.
Hand your wife the level and have her move the pole back and forth until it is level in all directions. (I know, you want to do this part…let her do it.)
Push the concrete into the gaps.
Stop for a minute to admire your work.
Carefully pull the flagpole from the tube.
The concrete needs to dry for twenty-four hours.
Wait twenty-four hours.
After twenty four hours, slide the flagpole into the tube.
Take a minute to admire your work.
Then, try to figure out how to attach the flag.

Oh, shoot! I just noticed I said 1 simple step.



Skip steps one and two.





It’s just an expression to emphasize the fact that I am going to do something, no matter what happens.

To be honest, though, I can’t really say that, can I?

High water alone can stop me.

What happens if I find myself standing before the Almighty God, being asked why I wanted to come into His town.

I may be a blubbering idiot, if I haven’t looked forward to this moment for a long time.

If I am standing there, surprised that there really is a God, then I may suddenly understand why those Christians used to always say that “the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom.”

I am very afraid!

I am starting to wish I had gotten some of this wisdom back when I had a chance.

I thought I had figured it all out.

I had said over and over, “How can a God say he loves me but threaten to send me to hell if I don’t love him back?”
Who brainwashed these people?

Of course, there was that one guy who tried to tell me, “He doesn’t send you to hell.
If you suddenly died, and, surprisingly found yourself in a place that you didn’t expect to be, because you had said, “there is no God,” and you were standing right in front of him, would you want to spend eternity with him or away from him?”
I answered, “Away!” And I said a lot of other stuff for emphasis.

He went on, “Then YOU chose!
He let you have what you said you wanted. He had offered you a free ticket, over and over and over…. You said that you weren’t interested.”

This guy had been so aggravating.

Now I am really, really afraid that I may have been wrong!

(To see the conversation that inspired this, go to https://randyepps.blog/2019/05/14/i-may-have-been-hasty-in-judgment-2/amp/ and scroll down past the story to the comments.)