One Year Ago
I wrote this three years ago to a real person.
When I shared it as a generic letter, to maybe help someone struggling with some difficult temptations, I had a lot of feedback. Some positive. A lot negative.
I removed the post.
Have you ever had this strong, unyielding feeling that you didn’t respond to a situation properly?
The feeling wouldn’t go away.
Someone pointed out to me last week that I like to argue.
Sometimes I do.
Today, I didn’t feel like making an effort, so I deleted the post.
I looked up the original letter…and read it…again…slowly.
If you will do the same thing, read it slowly, think about my motives and intentions, then, maybe, hit me again with your comments.
I believe this was more important than I realized.
I hope you will read this. I am not writing to condemn you or judge you; I only want to share with you what I have learned in my 36 years of letting Jesus be my LORD. (There were 26 years before that life began, but I had no wisdom in myself, literally, none.)
My struggles against my own flesh are not nearly as hard as they used to be, but they do still rise up, virtually every day, and I only win the struggles when I yield myself to the one who made me. Now the attacks of the enemy are way harder to resist, and I am so grateful that my Lord is a forgiving one. But even those attacks can be overcome by the word of my testimony, and by fixing my eyes on Him, not on my own strength ( or in my case, weakness.)
It is my understanding that you have given yourself to the pursuit of the gay lifestyle, and my heart breaks for you, not because of the specific choice but because you are choosing a way of the natural self instead of a way of the spirit of God, tying yourself to the chains of the world and its ways instead of soaring above on “wings of eagles.” Believe me, I understand the pull on a young man. I am not so old that I can’t remember what it is to feel desire and how impossible it is to resist, especially if someone is convincing you that it is your right. I have seen Christians justify theft, lies, fornication, divorce, adultery, drunkenness, abortion, drug use, laziness, disobedience, homosexuality, PRIDE,… all in the name of “my right to choose” what I want to do. The first 26 years of my life were exactly like that, and I considered myself good!
Here is what I have learned. No matter how strong the desire, and no matter how satisfying the fulfillment of the desire, the satisfaction leaves, the desire returns, and a deep darkness inside of us grows, the light that was there dims.
We were created for joy. We were created to display the awesome glory of God. I heard a man say this week that “God displays His Glory most in us, when we are most satisfied in Him!” The reason drugs, alcohol, thrills, sex, and power are so addictive is because they counterfeit joy, and we become resigned to the idea that they are the only avenues to attaining a measure of joy.
But joy can indeed be found when one truly seeks satisfaction in Him only. When He smiles, you get JOY!
My friend, I am coming to you as a brother In Christ, because I believe you are. God can even use the natural desires you have in you to display His glory to the people you are drawn to, in a way I could never reach them. Choices you make will have consequences, and if you think pursuing a course that tells God “I want this no matter what” will give you happiness, I’m afraid you will be most severely disappointed. I know I am an old man to you, but I have really felt JOY, and know what it is like both ways, my way and HIS WAY. “In His light, we see light!”
Always in His grip,