I’m often asked for proof that God exists .

It’s sort of a weird question in my mind, because it’s impossible to conceive of Him not existing.

Kind of like, “Can you prove that there is really a sun?”

I really, really enjoy talking about God, in all three of His forms, Father, Son, Holy Spirit.

Have you noticed?

I mean, He is so real to me, I feel a certain excitement when I recount ways He has affected my life, when I hear of His hands working in the lives of my friends.

It is really fun to see the light of understanding in the face of someone who has tasted His life and knows exactly what I am talking about.

I love telling about the first day that I came to know Him. It was such a miraculous turn of events, of answered prayers, of a changed heart, that I think everyone would hear the story, and believe.

But it doesn’t work that way, does it?

Atheists, Agnostics, and those that just aren’t ready to see Him…I can see them losing interest.

They act like they are interested at the beginning, but they start looking away, at the tv, the computer screen, the phone.

It’s almost as if there is a curtain that is blocking them from seeing the Light.

It’s almost like, they cannot even hear that God is speaking to their heart.

“Come to me, and I will give you rest.”

“Turn away from your godless ways, and let me give you real life.”

“Unless I give you Life, you cannot see me, or hear me, or see my world.”

“I really, really love you with an everlasting love. A love so deep that, if you accept it, I will never leave you alone.”

“I love you so much, that I gave my only Son, to pay for your rebellion, and to give you access to my world.”

“Come to me…and Live…forever!”

I wonder why they can’t hear that?

“In their case the god of this world has blinded the minds of the unbelievers, to keep them from seeing the light of the gospel of the glory of Christ, who is the image of God.”

2 Corinthians 4:4 ESV

Oh, yeah.

We don’t fight against flesh and blood, but against spiritual rulers in high places who have put chains and blinders on their prisoners, so they won’t see the One who comes to set them free.

Would you like to be free?



I wrote this eight years ago (2015) to a real person.

When I shared it as a generic letter, to maybe help someone struggling with some difficult temptations, I had a lot of feedback. Some positive. A lot negative.

I removed the post.

Have you ever had this strong, unyielding feeling that you didn’t respond to a situation properly?

The feeling wouldn’t go away.

Someone pointed out to me last week that I like to argue.

Sometimes I do.

Today, I didn’t feel like making an effort, so I deleted the post.

I looked up the original letter…and read it…again…slowly.

If you will do the same thing, read it slowly, think about my motives and intentions, then, maybe, hit me again with your comments.

I believe this was more important than I realized.


I hope you will read this. I am not writing to condemn you or judge you; I only want to share with you what I have learned in my 45 years of letting Jesus be my LORD. (There were 26 years before that life began, but I had no wisdom in myself, literally, none.)

My struggles against my own flesh are not nearly as hard as they used to be, but they do still rise up, virtually every day, and I only win the struggles when I yield myself to the one who made me. Now the attacks of the enemy are way harder to resist, and I am so grateful that my Lord is a forgiving one. But even those attacks can be overcome by the word of my testimony, and by fixing my eyes on Him, not on my own strength ( or in my case, weakness.)

It is my understanding that you have given yourself to the pursuit of the gay lifestyle, and my heart breaks for you, not because of the specific choice but because you are choosing a way of the natural self instead of a way of the spirit of God, tying yourself to the chains of the world and its ways instead of soaring above on “wings of eagles.” Believe me, I understand the pull on a young man. I am not so old that I can’t remember what it is to feel desire and how impossible it is to resist, especially if someone is convincing you that it is your right. I have seen Christians justify theft, lies, fornication, divorce, adultery, drunkenness, abortion, drug use, laziness, disobedience, homosexuality, PRIDE,… all in the name of “my right to choose” what I want to do. The first 26 years of my life were exactly like that, and I considered myself good!

Here is what I have learned. No matter how strong the desire, and no matter how satisfying the fulfillment of the desire, the satisfaction leaves, the desire returns, and a deep darkness inside of us grows, the light that was there dims.

We were created for joy. We were created to display the awesome glory of God. I heard a man say this week that “God displays His Glory most in us, when we are most satisfied in Him!” The reason drugs, alcohol, thrills, sex, and power are so addictive is because they counterfeit joy, and we become resigned to the idea that they are the only avenues to attaining a measure of joy.

But joy can indeed be found when one truly seeks satisfaction in Him only. When He smiles, you get JOY!

My friend, I am coming to you as a brother In Christ, because I believe you are. God can even use the natural desires you have in you to display His glory to the people you are drawn to, in a way I could never reach them. Choices you make will have consequences, and if you think pursuing a course that tells God “I want this no matter what” will give you happiness, I’m afraid you will be most severely disappointed. I know I am an old man to you, but I have really felt JOY, and know what it is like both ways, my way and HIS WAY. “In His light, we see light!”

Always in His grip,

Your friend,




The conversation started with a question.

“So, you don’t think it is possible for a Christian to be gay? What would you say if I told you I have been in a committed, loving relationship for over ten years.”

“Well, that says a lot about your loyalty and strength of commitment….”

“What about a Christian that overeats? Isn’t he just as guilty for indulging himself, for giving into his desires?”

Good question, don’t you think?

What about one who is sexually immoral, or commits adultery, or puts some thing in has life ahead of his commitment to God (idolatry), or one who takes stuff that doesn’t belong to him, or one who still likes to get drunk, or high, or someone who gossips, or someone who is still a little bit shady in his business dealings?

Can this one still be a Christian?

Could we be asking the wrong questions?

C.S. Lewis would say that we are happy sitting in the mud in our backyard making mud pies instead of spending a holiday at the beach.

A Christian is one who has received a gift from His creator, a gift of life that goes on forever, that cannot die, that gives him the ability to see God, to see His kingdom, to drop his chains and become free to be what he was created to be.

Why would I want to live in the old way, desperately searching for a tiny morsel of pleasure in the dirt, when there is a path laid out for me that leads to a life of inexpressible joy?

If I am happy with life the way it is, the way it was before I “became a Christian,” then, maybe I haven’t yet received a new life.

Maybe, the questions I should be asking are, “Do I belong to the One who made me?

Is He still changing me into what He made me to be?

Do I want to please Him?

Or me?”

“You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” (1 Corinthians 6)

You will like the new you!



And your life was pretty much a hop, a skip, and a jump from one joy to the next…

“Come into our world, little one.”
“It’s a boy!”

You left a tiny little world of quiet darkness, and entered a massive, terrifying, exhilarating world of light and sounds.

A world of discovery.

A new life of joy at every turn.


Light, newness, joy everywhere.

First day of school,

First real baseball glove, a Rawlings, Roberto Clemente,

Skipping rocks in White Rock Lake

First time to Six Flags

The Sears on Ross Avenue Christmas window display

Sleepless nights of anticipation before Christmas morning, before vacation.

Christmas morning

Running with friends until your side hurt

Hide and seek at dusk

Roller skating on the sidewalk

Crawdad fishing

Catching tadpoles

Lightning bugs in a jar.

Ant farm…. (This is my list. You have to make your own.)

Sorrows, hurts all smoothed away and forgotten by the loving arms, hands and words of your parents.

Then junior high came, high school, college, marriage, life.
Darkness began to overtake the light.
Everything changed.
You settled for just finding what happiness you could find.

Anything to cover the pain of this ever darkening world.


Second Birth.

“Come to me, into my world, little one.”
“It’s a son. My son.”

You emerge from a world of darkness, noise, and pain into a new, massive, terrifying, exhilarating world of Light, a new voice.

Joy waits at every turn.

Everything is new

There is a purpose to every sorrow, every pain, every loss.

You are comforted by the loving arms, hands and voice of your Father.

The Joy and discovery begins again.


You may still be trapped inside this dark world, scratching and clawing for whatever tiny bits of happiness you can find, looking for ways to numb the pain and sorrow that seem to overwhelm you.

There is a way out.
It’s simple, but not easy.

If you feel the desire for more, if you feel the pull toward the savior, then all you have to do is yield your life to Him.

You will find His ways to be much higher than your ways.

If you do not have this desire, then my prayer is that you will.

Light can overcome the darkness.



God plus nothing else


Everything else without God.

Maybe we don’t have freedom of choice after all.

In the game of life we are born into the world’s team of superstars. No choice. That is where we are placed. An evolving, powerful team of the great and small, the mighty and the weak. All with a place. All with a purpose.

To make the world a better place for me.

“I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life.”

What was that? Who said that?

You were just invited to join a different team.

Now, you choose.

What I want, or what He wants.

It’s simple, really. Continue on your way, making sure you get your way as much as you can, and enduring and fighting when you can’t, or

Giving up your rights, all your preconceived ideas of justice and good, your ideas of what is best for you, and placing yourself into the hands of this new coach, trainer, developer, ruler. His rules. His roles. His team. His ways are not our ways.

Life will certainly become more interesting.

But, certain people will come to hate and despise everything that you come to love. You will begin to recognize hatred, blindness, foolishness, gullibility to the false narrative of this world.

You will begin to recognize the enemy, the plans and agenda of the enemy.

And, you will experience a peace, a joy, a purpose in the hands of the One who is “the Way, the Truth, and the Life.”




You probably don’t have this problem, but sometimes, I have to admit, I get a feeling of moral superiority.

It may be a political cause.

It may be a moral issue.

It may just be some random opinion.

But, if I have an opinion, I generally believe that I’m right.

And, if I think I’m right, it is really hard for me to understand why you can’t see that I am right.

I’ll try to explain myself.

I’ll even try to listen to your side.

But, I will promise you, even if you can’t see things the same as I do, you can still be my friend.

I won’t break your windows.

I won’t burn your house down.

I won’t throw bottles or balloons filled with smelly stuff at you.

I will try to convince you.

But, I may be wrong.

You can try to convince me.

But you won’t convince me by acting angry, and breaking somebody else’s stuff, and not letting me speak.

That only makes me feel morally superior.

And, I know that I am not.

2017 (still applies)



Okay, LORD, I think I am ready to move into this new season

You have revealed to me my weaknesses

Now I am ready to move in Your strength

Open my eyes today to see the path You lay out for me

Tune my ears to be receptive to Your whisper

Fill my heart with the love that You Are

Let me savor the goodness of Your will

And hold me tight, LORD, hold me tight!

I am Yours!



I had agreed to take a week of vacation to go with 29 youths to camp near Lufkin.

My new friend, Michael (33)and I (70) were to be the leaders of the 18 boys, and we all stayed in the same cabin. One bunk short, Michael, ex Air Force, agreed to use the cot, placing it by the door that exited the cabin.

“Just in case someone wants to run,” he said.

For me, it had been 12 years since I had taken kids to summer camp. Wendy and I had run the Junior High program at our church, and took this group to camp four years in a row.

There seems to be a lot of difference between 58 and 70.

Michael established himself rather quickly as the father figure in the cabin, ping ponging between enforcer and encourager.

That left me the role of Grandpa.

I had been the Father figure in years past.

I liked being Grandpa.

The roles worked well through the week, even in our times with the entire group of 29, boys and girls, as we shared from our life experiences.

Now, here is the quandary that I faced.

I have maintained the idea that I am younger than my years, and able to do physical exploits that most my age wouldn’t attempt.

Wendy had threatened me, “Do not do anything stupid! Do not hurt yourself!” She told Michael,”Don’t let Randy do anything stupid! Don’t let him hurt himself.”

So I took it easy on the physical stuff, even waiting til the last day to test my ping pong skills, when I took on the winner of a match.

In retrospect, I probably should have taken on the loser.

In our cabin, as you came in the door from outside, there was a wall with a mirror. Michael’s cot was to the right.

Whenever I would talk to him in that location, I would see in the mirror his 6 foot something youth and strength, next to my 5’6″ image of my dad. (Who was actually 5’9″)

After being trounced in the ping pong match, I just found myself feeling beaten down, and old.

Now, the boys who had come to my area of the cabin to hear my stories during the week, had called my section “the therapy room.”

After the week of camp, I had told Michael of my struggle of feeling old and beaten down. I asked for his prayers because I did not want my age to ever be the focus of my thoughts. “We were obedient to the LORD last week. I want my obedience to Him to be above all else,” I told him.

His response: “I would focus on your age, and how, in this stage of your life, you can serve Him. Example: the boys had a reverence for you because of your age.”

Simple words, that immediately lifted my spirit.

The LORD says, “Now, you are ready to exchange your weakness for My strength.

I still have many battles for you to fight, and My Life that you carry will be the only strength you will need. Trust Me with everything. Don’t try to figure everything out.

Let Me lead you. Trust Me, obey Me, and Joy will follow you. Do not be afraid, for I am with you. I will strengthen you. I will hold you. You will accomplish what I have for you to do. Listen for My voice. Watch for My leading. I AM always there.”

Where you lead me,

I will follow.



Seriously, guys, I totally do not blame you for your aversion to making Jesus the king of your life. After 44 years on that path, I have concluded that Jesus is not safe.

You have found a life, with pleasures offered, and you have concluded that the journey from pleasure to pleasure is the best that you can do. You have also concluded that Jesus would expect you to give up those pleasures before you could ever come to Him.

Jesus hates sin. Sin is defined as anything that stands in the way of God’s will, and his will is for you to know him, and the one he has sent.

Sin is like a cancer, and, if left alone, will grow and consume the life that it inhabits.

Jesus is like a surgeon. He knows that if he doesn’t remove the cancer, it will destroy you.

But you do not have to give up your pleasures to come to Him. You can come just as you are. But, there is one condition.

You have to sign the consent form for him to remove the cancer.

Jesus is not safe.

There are times that you will scream in pain.

You will find yourself in most disturbing and uncomfortable situations.

Friends will leave you.

Your enemies will increase.

You will be asked to do impossible things.

I don’t blame you for turning away.

Jesus is dangerous.